They tell you when you’re younger to go to a college far far away from your home.
“You want to grow up independent” “You want to experience life without your family close by”. For some this may be true, but growing up with your family being your best friends, leaving home is hard.
I am 9 hours from my dad and step mom and twenty something from my mom and grandparents. Yes, it was fun at first, experiencing life without my parents, feeling like I had no rules, but after awhile you learn to miss it.
You go to college, get a job, and you no longer can go home. The moments away from home turn into memories not made with your family. Christmas, Thanksgiving, your birthday, spent away at school.
My tale of two cities is not a good one. For I wish to be home, but also enjoying my time at school, this is difficult of course and I’m left with the question wether I should go to another college closer to them or continue to go to my school and miss more holidays and celebrations with them.
This decision becomes harder and harder, but for now they all know, my heart is with them, wherever I decide to go.
I’m scared of falling behind, I’m scared of not knowing what I’m doing in life.
Most the time, we as people, have no idea what we are doing with our lives. We work so hard to achieve these goals and along the way we get lost.
My sophomore year of high school I thought I knew what I wanted to do in life. I wanted to be a doctor and change the world. But going through college I’ve realized being a doctor is not my passion, being a writer is. I have had to ask myself over and over again, “Are you driven by money or happiness?” and the answer is different every time. I know I will get worried faces from my family when they hear of my change. “You want to write stuff?” ,they’ll say, “Like stories? That makes no money.” But it’s more than stories.
I don’t want to struggle in life, but I also don’t want to waste my life away on something I don’t love. I’m afraid of change. Do I change my major after working towards another? Do I tell my family and feel like I’ve disappointed them? I don’t know.
But there comes a time in life when you have to step back and think about yourself. I now find myself asking, “What is good for Alyssa? What will make me happier?” This is hard to answer, but I need to fight the fear of falling behind and fight the fear of change and go for it because in the end I will have myself. And the career path and the major I choose is for me. Not anyone else. So don’t worry if you don’t know what you’re doing. It’s okay to not know, just focus on yourself, motivate yourself, and ultimately, be happy.
But that perfect time would never come, my friend. You will wait and wait and wait and you will reach the end of your life with nothing left but regret.
The point here is to stop waiting for the perfect moment. Whatever you want, pursue it now. Take action towards your goals now, in this very instance because life is too short to wait for the perfect moment.
Alyssa Lamp. 20 Years Old. Florida Atlantic University. Student Alumni Association Assistant Director.
When people first meet me and they ask me, “Where are you from?” I never know what to answer. I was born in Davenport, Iowa; moved to Charleston, South Carolina; then moved to Saint Augustine, Florida and I now live in Boca Raton, Florida.
I love ham, writing, reading, sports, my family, and my boyfriend.